Misconceptions on Christians and Homosexual Marriage
Lately I’ve read a number of letters ad commentaries trying to suggest the Christian response to homosexuality is irrational particularly in the current debate over gay marriage. I’ve seen a trend of misconceptions I would like to address.
First off, and this is my pet peeve, it is grossly unfair to assign the label homophobic to anyone who is not fully supportive of homosexuality. A phobia is an irrational fear. Most Christians do not have a phobia about homosexuality. Their opposition is based on the teachings of the Bible and not a fear that homosexuals will take over the world and turn everyone one else into a homosexual. Some may have concerns about what is being taught to their children but no more so than some parents object to certain sex ed content sometimes taught. The are not against their children learning about the birds and the bees but might prefer to discuss it privately with their children or using different materials. That is not a phobia. The word homophobia has become a derogatory term suggesting someone who is a bigot, hateful, close minded, and irrational. Is there no room for disagreement in our democratic society without negative labels being attached?
One misconception I’ve heard is that Christians believe all unions have to be about procreation therefore homosexual unions are invalid. One article I read cited the case of an old couple being married and asking if these same Christians consider that an illegitimate marriage since the couple was beyond child bearing age. Of course not! No where does the Bible say marriage is not allowed if the couple cannot have children. God gave the command to “be fruitful and multiply” but that was a general instruction and never said there could not be exceptions. Christian churches do marry older couples. My Mom remarried at the age of 80 to an 80 year old man. They got married in a church. So this is not an argument about the ability to have children in the union.
Other articles have tried to call into question what the Bible really has against homosexuality and argue that the only concern was for homosexual prostitution. There is poor, self-serving scholarship behind those claims. There is no reason to believe there is anything other than regular homosexuality in view in the Biblical passages.
The bottom line is this. The Book of Genesis tells us that God first created Adam. He had Adam name all the animals thus giving him ample contact with every type of animal. Adam found that although the animals were great none were suitable to be a companion to him. He was human and they were not. So God created Eve – a woman. Adam responded with great excitement that now here was the perfect companion to him. God then went on to define marriage as between a man and a woman. No where does Scripture change that definition. It has always only recognized marriage as being between a man and a woman.
God could have created two men or two women with the ability to procreate in some other fashion. Man and woman each in some unique ways convey the communicable attributes of God. In other words women have some traits of God we men don’t quite have and we men have some traits women don’t quite have. Together though we complete the traits God has passed on to us.
So the real Christian objective to homosexual marriage is simply that it goes against God’s definition of marriage. We realize full well we live in a secular, democratic society. However that gives us the right to exercise our right to vote as we please and speak out for what we believe just like everyone else. Opposing homosexual marriage is not a hate crime. It does not involve hate at all. It is simply standing up for our beliefs. Personally I have no hatred toward gays and have had gay friends. I treat them no differently than anyone else. However if you ask me if gay marriage should be allowed I am compelled to say no. I say that though based on my beliefs. I realize that society as a whole may decide it’s ok and in time it may become the law of the land.
Disagree which is your right but please don’t toss out straw man arguments, call it homophobia, or hatred. There may be a minority of Christians who cite some of those reason or who have a hateful heart but if so they are not following the teachings of God and I cannot back them.
So let me ask you a question. I have a friend who is a believer, or so I thought for the last 25 years, that she is a lesbian. She divorced her husband 1 1/2 yrs ago, they have 4 children 13 to 25. She has been in a relationship with her girlfriend for over a year, and she attends a church called Cornerstone Metropolitan in our area. She is now their worship leader each Sunday. So, when we talked, she quoted scripture and told me how God created her this way, that there is nowhere in the Bible that really condemns is, and that God is okay with it. She is “at peace” finally after so many years. I was dumbfounded, but in love told her what I thought, and that I wasn’t okay with it, and that we all have sin in our lives that we will probably struggle with our entire lives, but the joy of walking this faith walk with Jesus is learning to walk in victory over our sin. I love her, she is my dear friend, but even after searching God’s Word concerning homosexuality, and much prayer, I can’t understand how she gets it being okay with God. I believe she has allowed herself to be deceived by Satan using God’s Word and I believe she probably has found a temporary peace in not fighting that sin anymore. So tell me your thoughts. Thanks.
September 13, 2012 at 2:51 pm
There are of course a handful of churches who have no problem with homosexuality. Here is an interesting question I have come up with and I have no idea where other Christians land on this. There has been talk there gays are born that way and that there are genetic reasons. If so, though many disagree saying there is no proof of such a gene, then they suggest God made that person that way and therefore must approve. For the sake of argument let’s say such a gene exists. My answer would be that we live in a fallen world. When God created this world there were no genetic defects. No birth defects. After the fall all creation fell and after the Flood the climate of the earth dramatically changed. Since then our diets and pollutants have added to the mess. Birth defects exist not because that’s what God designed but due to the fall of man. God did not plan for us to be born homosexual. That was not his design. However we live in a fallen world. Is it possible gays are “born” that way? I’m not convinced but even if so that does not put God’s stamp of approval on it.
A corollary is that as a straight Christian male I can still be tempted to sexual relations with someone outside my marriage. Evolutionists tell us man was not meant to be monogamous citing the animal kingdom (although they seem to miss the fact that some animals mate for life not that I agree we are descendant from animals). The bottom line is I have a sin nature that tempts me to do things I know I should not do. Can I say “God made me this way?” Can I argue that I have always had an urge to have multiple sex partners? Would that make it ok? What if a pedophile says they were born that way? It is always hard to fight our sin nature and therefore I have no doubt your friend feels at peace now. The fight is over.
I agree that her interpretation of God’s Word is flawed. You simply cannot deny the plain teaching of Scripture.
I have known two lesbians who turned straight and the one is married with kids for many years. Both were Christians. My heart does go out to those who feel compelled to be homosexual. The fall of man is a cruel thing. I have to fight daily against sins in my life that I would rather not give up. I would have much more peace without the struggle. I don’t go around condemning homosexuals but neither do I approve of it. I will though stand up for what the Word of God says especially when others misrepresent it.
I pray God will give you wisdom and grace in your friendship with this woman. Keep praying for her. God can do anything!
Thanks for your question.
September 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm