Homosexual rights and same sex marriage have become the civil rights battle of our age. Supporters of same sex marriage often shake their heads at anyone in opposition calling us narrow minded, ignorant, bigoted, or religious whack jobs. We’re told no one is hurt and we should all be equal under the law.
Before I move onto my main point I would suggest a quick detour to the nature of our laws. Almost every law we have is somewhat arbitrary and and won by the majority. Why was the law of the land a speed limit of 55 for so many years? Why not 50, 60, 65? Why not let each state determine on their own roads what the right limit should be (technically they still had that right but would be denied much needed federal highway funds if they chose a higher speed limit). Why is sex between a 18 year old boy and a 17 year old girl a crime? We might question a 50 year old man having sex with a 17 year old girl but an 18 year old boy? What changes when someone turns 18? Are not some 17 year old’s far more mature than some 20 year old’s? I could go on and on but in the end society has to establish some laws, some limits, some minimums and maximums. We don’t all agree with each and every law. Some change with time. Public morality changes with time.
So why should I, as a Christian, stand in the way of a same sex couple who love each other from getting married? Well for starters I live in a democracy where we are each allowed to vote according to our conscience. How I arrive at my voting choice is up to me.I have just as much right to my opinion as does everyone else. Those opposed to me seem to think I have some moral requirement to “live and let live” and not stand in the way of the choice of others. Yet in a democracy we don’t have to all agree.You may not agree with my reasons but that does not make them less valid. I may live in a secular society but that does not mean I have to put aside my spiritual beliefs when it comes time to vote. We are all guided by something be it personal values, religious beliefs, philosophy, or whim. Their belief that same sex marriage is just as valuable as opposite sex marriage is still a belief!
The Christian writer C.S. Lewis was once asked about this very topic (of homosexuality) and this is what he wrote:
“I have seen less than you but more than I wanted of this terrible problem. I will discuss your letter with those whom I think wise in Christ. This is only an interim report. First, to map out the boundaries within which all discussion must go on, I take it for certain that the physical satisfaction of homosexual desires is sin. This leaves the homosexual no worse off than any normal person who is, for whatever reason, prevented from marrying. Second, our speculations on the cause of the abnormality are not what matters and we must be content with ignorance. The disciples were not told why (in terms of efficient cause) the man was born blind (John 9:1-3): only the final cause, that the works of God should be made manifest in him. This suggests that in homosexuality, as in every other tribulation, those works can be made manifest: i.e. that every disability conceals a vocation, if only we can find it, which will ‘turn the necessity to glorious gain.’ Of course, the first step must be to accept any privations which, if so disabled, we can’t lawfully get. The homosexual has to accept sexual abstinence just as the poor man has to forgo otherwise lawful pleasures because he would be unjust to his wife and children if he took them. That is merely a negative condition. What should the positive life of the homosexual be? I wish I had a letter which a pious male homosexual, now dead, once wrote to me—but of course it was the sort of letter one takes care to destroy. He believed that his necessity could be turned to spiritual gain: that there were certain kinds of sympathy and understanding, a certain social role which mere men and mere women could not give. But it is all horribly vague and long ago. Perhaps any homosexual who humbly accepts his cross and puts himself under Divine guidance will, however, be shown the way. I am sure that any attempt to evade it (e.g. by mock or quasi-marriage with a member of one’s own sex even if this does not lead to any carnal act) is the wrong way. Jealousy (this another homo. admitted to me) is far more rampant and deadly among them than among us. And I don’t think little concessions like wearing the clothes of the other sex in private is the right line, either. It is the duties, burdens, the characteristic virtues of the other sex, I suspect, which the patient must try to cultivate. I have mentioned humility because male homosexuals (I don’t know about women) are rather apt, the moment they find you don’t treat them with horror and contempt, to rush to the opposite pole and start implying that they are somehow superior to the normal type. I wish I could be more definite. All I have really said is that, like all other tribulations, it must be offered to God and His guidance how to use it must be sought.”
Lewis took a unique perspective here. He did not get into the debate as to whether people are born gay or not nor what made them that way. He simply stated that regardless of their circumstances they were to still obey God’s Word and see a vocation from their tribulation. Any honest reading of the Bible must conclude that God intended sex and marriage to be between the opposite sex. Most people in this country oppose polygamy yet what if they argued they were born that way and it was just as natural for them to have multiple wives (or be one of the wives of a man) as for others to stick to one partner? Does not society have to decide and do we not do so by voting our consciences?
It is time to stop the name calling and labeling and accept we each have a view and are entitled to it. I will vote my conscience as informed by my faith. I don’t believe in same sex marriage because God designed marriage to be between one man and one woman. That has not nor ever will change. I live in a democracy though and others will vote according to their beliefs. I fully expect that at some point in time same sex marriage will be the law of the land. Not with my support but then this is a democracy and my vote is but one. It is my right and not born out of ignorance, hatred, close-mindedness, or bigotry. It is a reasoned decision based upon my faith.
I have read many impassioned pleas by those who feel Christians are to blame for them not having the right to same sex marriage or abortion. They ask why we can’t just let it go and if they are wrong then let God show them. As one woman on Facebook put it:
You are going to be just fine should I choose to marry a woman…you really don’t need to be in control of who I choose to be with … no matter how you feel about homosexual unions… it is not really important for you to control it. If you really feel it is a “sin,” then let God teach me…that is His/Her/whatever you believe’s job, not yours. LET IT GO!!!
While I know she writes with great passion for her beliefs I must point out a few flaws in her logic. First, we live in a democracy which means we all have equal rights to voice our opinions and beliefs and support the candidates we want and vote according to our conscience. We believe in the First Amendment which is why there was such an outcry when the French satirical journalists were killed by Islamic extremists. So I have just as much right to oppose same sex marriage or abortion as she has to support it. What she wants is not really free speech. She wants a world in which no one will stand up for what they believe if it might impose on someone else’s choices. Yet is society acted as she wishes we would have very few laws and soon lawlessness would reign. Why have a speed limit if it imposes on someone’s joy in driving 120 mph? Our founding fathers believed that we each have a voice and it is by engaging those voices and debate that we often arrive at the best decision. We should not silence those whose beliefs might oppose other’s beliefs.
Second she fails to understand Christianity although that is not her sole focus. Her statement implies it is only God’s role to teach. Hebrews 5:12 says “by reason of time you ought to be teachers.” Teacher is a role and gift listed in Scripture. God teaches us by His Word (the Bible) and through the ministry of the Holy Spirit yet gifts some with a special talent for teaching. Parents are to teach their children in the ways of the Lord just as those with the gift of teaching are to instruct the church. This writer has failed to consider that God may be trying to teach her through the voices she so opposes.
This generation has mistakenly made tolerance the highest moral value. Live and let live some say. Yet at times opposition is a gift from heaven to keep us from harming ourselves or others. Proverbs 27:6 says “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; But the kisses of an enemy are profuse.” A true friend will not be afraid to tell it like it is even at the risk of offending you. Would you prefer your doctor not to inform you that you have cancer because that might upset you? Would it not be better to know the truth as there might still be time to treat the cancer and live? We value a friend who can correct us when we are wrong and change the course we are on. If we tolerated all our children’s selfishness and disobedience they would grow up to be selfish, entitled adults expecting the world to bow to their will. Parents are not always and at all times their children’s best friends.
The Bible tells us that absolute truth does exist and is defined by God. We may live in a pluralistic society with all sorts of beliefs but for the Christian there are absolutes and we must always uphold them. It is clear from my reading of the Bible that God created marriage to be between one man and one woman only. Not two men or two women. Sex between two men or two women is likewise condemned. I realize not all agree nor care what I believe but my highest allegiance is to God and as long as my government allows me free speech and to vote my conscience I will oppose same sex marriage. I don’t hate same sex couples but I cannot agree that what they want is marriage. Certainly not as God defined marriage and He is THE author of marriage. I would lovingly call them to consider God’s purpose for their lives and for marriage. I am though but one voice and ultimately the majority will likely prevail. I have no doubt in time that same sex marriage will be legal in all 50 states. That does not make it right. Nearly all of Germany supported Hitler yet that did not make him a good or moral man.
God calls us to be His witnesses for the truth. We have voices and must use them. Whether we carry the vote in the end or not we are to speak the truth in love. I’m sorry this woman cannot see that. She thinks us as mean spirited or controlling. Is a parent who forbids their child from playing with matches being controlling? Perhaps but that control may just save their child’s life. God gave them the role of parenting their children teaching them right from wrong. Likewise God has given His children the role of standing up for good and truth in this world. We cannot fail Him. We must speak the truth no matter how unpopular and if we are the only one. That is not control it is love.